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The Lunacy on the Streets of Lisbon

This is an official transcript of the Lisbon Portugal city council meeting May 13th, 1023.

Chairman: Meeting called to order. First on the agenda is to discuss what to do with the sidewalks in Lisbon. There have been a lot of complaints about the dust and the mud.

Santiago: I was thinking maybe we could spread gravel over the surfaces.

Chairman: Thank you Santiago, any other ideas?

Alfonso: The Romans have had good luck with carved stone.

Chairman: Thank you Alfonso.

Duarte: I have about a billion small square black and white stones that I could donate. We could lay them out in interesting patterns.

Santiago: Sounds good but wouldn’t that take a long time to lay them out?

Duarte: Yes, it would. One thousand years.

Alfonso: That’s a long time. Maybe we just use them in the city


Duarte: No. Everywhere.

Chairman: Including all the side streets and back alleys?

Duarte: Everywhere. I have a billion of them.

Francisco: How about we pour concrete and paint it pink?

Duarte: Shut up Francisco. We told you at the last meeting that we weren’t doing pink streets.

Francisco: It would be the talk of Lisbon.

Chairman: How large are these stones?

Duarte: Very small. About 3 inches square?

Alfonso: Maybe we could save time by only doing them in one simple pattern?

Duarte: No. A different pattern on every sidewalk all over Lisbon.

Francisco: The pink would be faster.

Chairman: Shut up Francisco! You can have your pink street when we finish the sidewalk project!

Francisco: But he said a thousand years.

Santiago: Good! And because you’ve annoyed the hell out of us about your stupid pink street idea I vote to go with the billion black and white stones and hope they never finish them even after a thousand years!

A thousand years later…

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