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The Lunacy on the Streets of Lisbon

This is an official transcript of the Lisbon Portugal city council meeting May 13th, 1023.


Chairman: Meeting called to order. First on the agenda is to discuss what to do with the sidewalks in Lisbon. There have been a lot of complaints about the dust and the mud.


Santiago: I was thinking maybe we could spread gravel over the surfaces.


Chairman: Thank you Santiago, any other ideas?


Alfonso: The Romans have had good luck with carved stone.




Chairman: Thank you Alfonso.


Duarte: I have about a billion small square black and white stones that I could donate. We could lay them out in interesting patterns.



Santiago: Sounds good but wouldn’t that take a long time to lay them out?


Duarte: Yes, it would. One thousand years.




Alfonso: That’s a long time. Maybe we just use them in the city


center?


Duarte: No. Everywhere.


Chairman: Including all the side streets and back alleys?


Duarte: Everywhere. I have a billion of them.


Francisco: How about we pour concrete and paint it pink?





Duarte: Shut up Francisco. We told you at the last meeting that we weren’t doing pink streets.


Francisco: It would be the talk of Lisbon.


Chairman: How large are these stones?




Duarte: Very small. About 3 inches square?




Alfonso: Maybe we could save time by only doing them in one simple pattern?




Duarte: No. A different pattern on every sidewalk all over Lisbon.


Francisco: The pink would be faster.



Chairman: Shut up Francisco! You can have your pink street when we finish the sidewalk project!




Francisco: But he said a thousand years.








Santiago: Good! And because you’ve annoyed the hell out of us about your stupid pink street idea I vote to go with the billion black and white stones and hope they never finish them even after a thousand years!









A thousand years later…







































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