The Lunacy on the Streets of Lisbon
This is an official transcript of the Lisbon Portugal city council meeting May 13th, 1023.
Chairman: Meeting called to order. First on the agenda is to discuss what to do with the sidewalks in Lisbon. There have been a lot of complaints about the dust and the mud.
Santiago: I was thinking maybe we could spread gravel over the surfaces.
Chairman: Thank you Santiago, any other ideas?
Alfonso: The Romans have had good luck with carved stone.
Chairman: Thank you Alfonso.
Duarte: I have about a billion small square black and white stones that I could donate. We could lay them out in interesting patterns.
Santiago: Sounds good but wouldn’t that take a long time to lay them out?
Duarte: Yes, it would. One thousand years.
Alfonso: That’s a long time. Maybe we just use them in the city
Duarte: No. Everywhere.
Chairman: Including all the side streets and back alleys?
Duarte: Everywhere. I have a billion of them.
Francisco: How about we pour concrete and paint it pink?
Duarte: Shut up Francisco. We told you at the last meeting that we weren’t doing pink streets.
Francisco: It would be the talk of Lisbon.
Chairman: How large are these stones?
Duarte: Very small. About 3 inches square?
Alfonso: Maybe we could save time by only doing them in one simple pattern?
Duarte: No. A different pattern on every sidewalk all over Lisbon.
Francisco: The pink would be faster.
Chairman: Shut up Francisco! You can have your pink street when we finish the sidewalk project!
Francisco: But he said a thousand years.
Santiago: Good! And because you’ve annoyed the hell out of us about your stupid pink street idea I vote to go with the billion black and white stones and hope they never finish them even after a thousand years!
A thousand years later…